Answers!
January 27th, 2010Answer time! Now, some of these may not be the ‘right’ answer, and some of them are definitely my own personal delusions.
1. What’s the name of the metal bit that goes around a fireplace? Not the mantelpiece, but the bit around the bottom that isn’t the grate? I’ve found two and they’re really heavy!
This is indeed a fender. They are heavy and I don’t like them.
2. What’s the proper name for a hod-d-d-d?
A floor-sweeper. The push-me-pull-you kind with the twirly brush. This particular model was a sort of weird brown coloured ‘Ewbank’ from the 70s. ‘A hod-d-d-d-d’ is what Eddie Izzard calls them, a reference my mother would immediately get.
3. What’s an elbow chair when it’s at home?
Turns out it’s just an arm chair. How dull.
4. What’s the name of that man who was like an inventor or something and his first name was like an adjective?
This was indeed Capability Brown.
5. What’s the proper name for like a manual screwdriver where you turn a handle to make it go?
A brace and bit, apparently. (and you can bet I’ve got that the wrong way round) Though I insist on calling it a drill to annoy my parents.
6. What’s a vinaigrette?
It’s like a pomander, but you put it on your chatelaine and stick vinegar in it and it’s like a smelling salts thing. It’s also a sauce, but it seems more likely that I was meant to be looking for the smelly thing.
7. Why would you need a skirt-lifter on a chatelaine?
Right this is where my psychosis outs itself. Basically, the real reason you need a skirt-lifter on a chatelaine is (rather sensibly) as a means of hooking your skirt out of the way when you’re working or whatever.
You see, I thought it was for hooking other people’s skirts. My Mum, understandably, asked why on Earth you would want to hook someone else’s skirt. The only answer I had? “Well to see if they’ve got something under there, like a midget. You know how when the IRA used to plant car bombs and they had a mirror on a stick to look for the bombs? I thought it was like that.”
Clearly I watch too much TV.
8. What’s a plumb bob for? Fishing?
Indeed, this is for levels. Though the name makes it sound like it’s for weighing plums, if I’m honest. Or maybe plumbers.
9. What’s this?
It’s a lock for a sash window.
10. What’s a custard glass?
A glass for putting custard in. Obviously.
11. What’s a fish kettle look like? Cause I’ve heard the phrase ‘a kettle of fish’.
Rather disappointingly, it’s just a big pan, vaguely shaped like a fish. It’s also heavy and dirty, and no amount of me saying ‘well it’s a proper Aga one’ is going to make me like it.
12. Is a teapoy like a teapot but spelt wrong?
Yes. Yes it is. (No it’s not, it’s a table).
13. What’s that thing like a canoe but round and they make them in Ironbridge?
A coracle!
Thanks for playing everyone! JG and MMM between them got almost all the answers, I think. Although in fairness, I don’t think anyone could have guessed I thought that the police in the 70s were checking for IRA car bombs and midgets under the skirts of Victorian ladies with specialist equipment.
